Sunday, February 26, 2012

Workplace Archetypes - Topper

I've held a few jobs titles in my life.

Newspaper delivery boy**
Lumber yard gopher**
Chicken catcher/vaccinator
Sausage maker**
Overnight camp counselor
Grocery clerk
Portrait photographer
MLM sales
Sign maker/erector*
Retail sales

I held one steady full time job for 34 years* (give or take several years off for work related injuries, illness and vacation days).  I have been a photographer on and off part-time for over 40 years.  All the other jobs were held for 6 months or less, several were only for a few weeks**.  If I sat down and counted the total number of people with whom I have worked, it must be in the high hundreds.  When I look back, no matter where I worked or what I did, I found certain workplace archetypes at each and every job.  

I plan on presenting several of those archetypes.  The first archetype is  THE TOPPER.  

THE TOPPER always has a better experience than the one you experienced.

For example, if you hit the lottery, the topper hit it for more money and spent less on lottery tickets.

If you had the worst headache in your life, the topper had a headache so bad it killed him.  Miraculously, he brought himself back to life when his hand serendipitously stabbed him in the eye with a rusty icepick which, just seconds before, he used to kill the largest python ever to slither upon the face of the earth that had wrapped itself around him and was squeezing out his very life force.  Because the python was constricting his body before he killed it, the snake's muscles continued to constrict by reflex, creating extreme pressure in his body.  The intense pressure caused the ice pick to pop out of his eye.  Exiting the wound, some rust particles remained behind which helped coagulate the blood at the site keeping him from bleeding to death and deflating his eyeball.  To this day you can see still see rust stains in the white of his eye.
The Topper is difficult to be around when he begins to spout off.  You just need to hold your tongue and pray you don't meet him in purgatory.

More workplace archetypes to come.

©Damyon T. Verbo - all rights reserved

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